Oh hey! It’s been a little while…
I considered going into the various reasons why I have been less present in this community for the past several weeks (read: college applications, school stress, self doubt) but I’d honestly rather focus on lessons I’ve learned during this brief time away and where I am now.
I’ve been going through a very transitional phase of life. I’ve never liked change; I am very routine oriented and comforted by familiarity. However, I made the decision to try to enjoy this process, this journey, and be kind to myself through every step of the process. Here is what I have learned:
- The power of the human mind and positive thinking? Unmatched. I love school and learning but my anxious and perfectionistic nature has, at times, robbed me of my joy. The college application process has allowed a lot of self doubt to creep in and I spent some nights breaking down about just not feeling good enough. I became tired of spending so much energy tearing myself down, so I made the decision to believe in myself. It may sound silly, but I simply told myself every chance I got that I was capable, successful and confident. In moments of confidence, I wrote down affirmations and how I was feeling to look back on when I felt less than. Over time, this way of thinking has become second nature. I, of course, still struggle with self doubt and anxiety, but it is easier for me to reframe my thinking and move forward after periods of anxiousness. We have the power to create our reality, which is easier said than done, but so true if you know how to take advantage of it.
- Community and connection is so important. I tend to withdraw into myself in times of stress, especially school-related stress. However, over the past few months I challenged myself to say YES. When my friends wanted to get something to eat, I said yes. When they wanted to go to the river, I said yes. When they wanted to have a lazy day and watch movies together, I said yes. I still prioritize school most of all, but I have been so much happier making an effort to balance my work, extracurriculars, and time with people I care about. Knowing I have the support of my friends and family as I work towards my goals has meant more to me than I imagined.
- Everything will work out the way it is meant to. This isn’t exactly something I’ve learned but something I am trying to accept. No matter how hard you try, you can’t control everything. In the end there needs to be some degree of trusting the process of life and the fact that good things are coming if you hold on to good energy.
So here I am. On the other side of a particularly challenging few months, but better because of it. My application to my absolute dream school is submitted and I’m ready to start creating again. I’m so excited for what is to come!